Moan-a Lisa Smile

Watching people view a portrait of me 

painted by Kent Monkman at the Royal 

Ontario Museum is both voyeuristic and 

creepy. 

And. I. Don’t. Care.

People took photos of me while I watched. 

Passerbys wondering what the exhibit of portraits means. To them. To the community. To art. 

I asked an older couple to take my photo standing beside the portrait. 

“It’s not everyday you see yourself on canvas at the ROM.” I said. 

The guy did a double take and was like, “Hey! That is you!” 

I’m surrounded by Indigenous warriors and influences who I look up. Like Brianna Olsen-Pitawanakwat and Pauline Shirt. 

They both bring me a calming sense of joy. 

People I look up to and admire. 

What is the creation of a life long memory?

I’ve always looked for myself reflected in art and spaces. 

Now here I am. 

Manifesting a moment.

Overwhelmed with a bit of sadness. 

I wish my parents were here with me.

They are and will always be by my side. 

Encouraging me to keep working hard, but to remember to make time for family. 

Is it ‘ego’ I write this passage and gaze at this portrait?

Or is it an ultimate act of self love.

A profound reflection of when I posed for this portrait a few years ago. 

I was selected to model for Kent’s Land Defenders and Water Protectors mural series. 

The email from the studio asked models to be on time and to wear either blue jeans and black top or all black clothing. 

I rushed to get there from Billy Bishop Airport, as I was coming back to Toronto from a work trip. 

It was hot and I was sweaty. 

I wore a blue cammy, a pink tank top and a long blue skirt. 

Not blue jeans or my blacks. They were packed away in my suitcase. 

Kent was going around the room introducing himself to the models. 

Some of the models were fan-girling/personing. Hard. 

Kent and I first met at a youth conference in Winnipeg. We shared red wine poured into coffee mugs since it was a dry event. 

A few months prior to the shoot, Kent and I sat on a panel at the University of Toronto and both received an award for our work in sexuality diversity from the Bonham Centre at U of T. 

We shared this honour alongside the late Lee Maracle (baa) and late Candy Palmater (baa). 

“Hi I’m Kent Monkman… Hi, I’m Kent, welcome… Hi, welcome to my studio.”

“TEDDY! HI!” He gave me a hug.”

“Hey Kent, sorry I’m late. Where should I go change into my blacks?” I asked him. 

Kent replied with “Don’t change. What you’re wearing is fine. Everyone all looks the same. I’ll be right back, good to see you Teddy.” 

One of the other models asked, “OMG! Do you know Kent Monkman?” “Just a little”, I said. 

Now I’m staring at people staring at portrait of my sweaty self, painted by my neechi/friend.

Before I get up to leave, a woman is walking links arm to a blind man. She is explaining each sign and portrait. 

She reads him the title and explains a brief imagery of the portrait. 

He needs his head and they move along.

I am grateful for this moment.

I am thankful for what this will mean to others who see it. 

Maybe they will see themselves reflected in a portrait of a 2Spirit artist, educator and activist.

Chi miigwetch Kent. 

Ozhawa Anung Kwe

October 30th, 2022.