Stepping down from a pedestal that you have created yourself
Allows for others to walk with you
To stand by you
But sometimes you feel like life grows stagnant if they aren’t progressive
People who walk slow bug me
Because I forget to stop and enjoy the moment
To catch my breath
To not think
To not worry
To just be
Building up boundaries to protect yourself.
But you can crush others on the other side if you tear down walls too fast
Leaving yourself defenseless
A weakness presents itself
But you were the one who created it
Hid it from others to not gain entry
And forgot to check your blind spot as you revealed yourself
Not wanting to burden others who are ‘happy’
Who are ‘content’
Who have advanced more than you will ever be
Even for just that moment
Getting lost looking for ‘likes’ in a world that breaths in post mortums
Knowing that you are not alone
That your supports are their 24/7
Even when their partners are lying beside them
Holding them
Whispering to them ‘good night’ and ‘I love you’
I love you too
But I love me more
The middle child who always needed to humour oneself
To protect one’s own individuality
In a world full of constant “I” statements
Sometimes it feels like all I have is myself
Too scared to get too close to someone else
What if they don’t accept you?
How come they always do that thing that you don’t understand?
Why can’t you hold someone else’s hand?
Probably because you can’t wrap your head around the rational behind it
Looking over your shoulder constantly to make sure that no one is looking at you
But always glancing back to maybe think that he is glancing at you too
But they’re not
Or maybe you’re not looking at the ones who are looking at you
Maybe prison is the answer
Fuck the soap on the rope
And just love me
Love me for me
Hold me, but let me be free
Listen to me as I translate your story to my heart and brain
To try and cross lanes so that two worlds can collide
To make one
Maybe I will be single for life
And if that is the case I’ll just keep working at being me
Keeping a lookout for someone trying to look in
Waiting to hold my hand
To call me crazy
To write me a song
To hold me and tell me that it will all be okay
Even if it isn’t
And if it isn’t
Then I’ll still believe them
Maybe
